The problem with Jennifer’s Body isn’t its lack of clever writing, thought-provoking storylines, or deeper meaning. The problem is that it tries to incorporate these.
If the film stayed true to its roots — those gory, cheesy, meaningless slashers that are so bad they make you laugh but are still entertaining — it would have been fine. Jeepers Creepers, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Hills Have Eyes come to mind. In trying to be something that it’s not, Jennifer’s Body comes up short.
Don’t get me wrong. The cheap puns, double entendres, and sexual innuendos are pure gold and almost make the movie worth watching. For instance, when Megan Fox’s character Jennifer finally decides to start vampire-feasting on girls instead of boys, she quips, “I go both ways.” Yes! Director Karyn Kusama would have done well to stick to this easy but funny exploitation of Megan Fox’s sex appeal. Although Kusama does so with hilarious and provocative effect a couple times, she eventually outsmarts herself.
The film somehow tries to tackle issues like sexuality and virginity, friendship, high school popularity, and giving into pressures to succeed while also providing mindless entertainment to hormone-crazed teenage boys who came with hopes of seeing Megan Fox naked (they went home disappointed).
Jennifer is the gorgeous, stuck-up, and sexually promiscuous cliché of a vampire seductress. While an Oscar is a long shot, Fox succeeds in playing this bratty babe — probably by being herself.
Amanda Seyfried plays her best friend Anita, aka “Needy.” Occasionally Seyfriend’s acting brings the movie out of the mud, but never completely. Needy provides the quiet, simple-girl contrast to Jennifer, constantly being bossed around by her more attractive and more popular BFF (best friend forever, if you’re not in the know). The film lets its viewers know that Needy needs to stick up for herself, which would be alright if it didn’t do so every ten or twenty seconds.
Jennifer forces Needy to blow off her boyfriend for the night to go to a concert. OK. Jennifer blows off Needy to hang out in the band’s van, leaving Needy stranded. Alright. Needy gets in trouble during class for something Jennifer does. Ugh. Needy’s first sexual encounter with her boyfriend is interrupted by visions of the following: Jennifer’s blood dripping from the ceiling onto her face, one of Jennifer’s devoured victims sprawled on the couch next to the bed, and fang-toothed vampire Jennifer crouched on a nearby table. It’s my turn for a cheap pun, so I’ll call this overkill.
Now is when I should tell you the name of the town where all this happens is “Devil’s Kettle.” The name fits well for the kind of film this should have been. But when Kusama overextends her story, something is taken away from the movie’s deliciously terrible potential.
As you might have guessed, Jennifer uses her sex appeal to lure in boys for a good meal. This is a go-to plot for a vampire movie, especially when the vampire is a vixen like Megan Fox. Yet somehow the film tries to squeeze in a moral to this story about vampires, sex, and murder. Let’s just say when one of Jennifer’s victims is able to resist her sexual advances, Jennifer’s “body” of work is almost over. Of course, Needy finally stands up to Jennifer in the end as well.
Maybe I should focus on Megan Fox’s beauty, the bloody way she devours her victims, and the way her sexy evil is defeated. Maybe I should focus on how the aforementioned band’s name is “Low Shoulder” and a road sign near a hitchhiker planning revenge on the evil band reads “Low Shoulder.” Maybe I should focus on the fact that Jennifer’s science teacher has a hook for a hand.
But I can’t. Even if it is unintentional, the other, apparently “deeper” stuff is still there. And it hurts what should have been an awesomely bad movie.
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Jennifer's Body Part 1
Jennifer's Body Part 2
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